“To say ‘I don’t have time’ is like saying ‘I don’t want to.” ~Lao Tzu
This is a story about my dream to become a writer. For years I had put this dream on the “one day” calendar because I thought that one day I would have more time.
Have you ever experienced that time was an excuse and that the Devil on your shoulders (the voice of doubt) sabotaged your plans?
How did you deal with it?
The way I faced my Devil was to relate differently to time. I got up every morning at the crack of dawn. And my Devil screamed like hell…
At 4:00 AM, the high-pitched beep of my alarm wakes me at an ungodly hour on my first writing day. I have no choice. My time is up. I turn around and feel the softness of the blankets wrapped around me. I feel so safe, but not for long.
I wiggle my toes and stir my body. The Devil purrs at my side, attempting to arouse me with his teasing presence while showing me his magnetic, satiny smile.
“Don’t go,” he whispers. I ‘shhhh’ at him, roll out of bed, and stumble out into the hallway. A meowing cat brushes against my bare leg. I shriek and almost lose my courage.
I quickly run across the hallway as if I can’t be late. When my hand touches the doorknob, I feel his warm breath on my neck. A shiver runs up my spine; he wants me to listen one last time. The endless list of obstacles to stop me from writing rattles staccato in my ear: schedules, five kids, their practices, my practice, eight animals, and my husband far away… The Devil makes his point.
How dare I say here I AM, no matter what? I hold my breath.
Without my pushing, the door swings open, and there I am face to face with Soul. Her broad smile welcomes me and warms my trembling body. Divine blue eyes look at me intently; she needs an answer now. I nod my head yes.
Gently, she takes my hand and leads me to my desk. A streak of moonlight peeks through the curtains, curiously watching to see if I will put my pen to paper.
Within my breath, the in… the out… the roles are changed. At this hour at the crack of dawn, surrender is the key to open the door. If I want to write, I need to let Soul speak, and not myself.
Instead of pushing to achieve, I have to listen and receive. I have to move out of my comfort zone and into my heart, the place where the voice of my Soul resides.
In that process I write and write, rocked in the rhythm of Soul’s song. After day 22 (of getting up at 4:00 AM), my pen came to a halt and the book was finished, but a new chapter of my life began.
Little did I know that A Suitcase Full of Faith—How One Woman Found Her Dream By Trusting the Compass of Her Soul would see the light of day, nor that it would be a bestseller a year later.
And that’s how it happened. In that pivotal moment when the moon traded places with the sun, I shed the Devil of my back and did it anyway.
Remember this: only by taking action and translating the urges of your Soul into action can you become who you truly are.
You have the power and always will.
Go for your dreams. Do it anyway, no matter what!
With Love,
Saskia
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
You are such an inspiration Saskia – thanks for sharing!
Thank you Kimberly!
love back to you!
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I am a wanna be artist who never seems to have time for her painting and I am always puting other things first.
We are having a heat wave here in Toronto, and earlier today I had a thought that maybe I should get up a little earlier and work in the cool of the morning. Then I read your article.
Thank you for sharing your journey; it was both inspirational, and comforting to know there are others in the same boat
Blessings and have a fabulous day